Goodbye Birth Control: A Diary of Balancing Out My Body


 

First, let’s answer the elephant in the room: are we trying for a baby? The short answer: no. The long answer: eventually. And this is what sort of spurred the whole getting of BC thing. A handful of my friends who are pregnant and/or have had babies suggested getting off the pill 6-9 months before even starting to try because it can take a minute for your body to regulate. I had no intention of getting off until MAYBE the fall of this year but in January I found out that my BC was discontinued. A sign? Yes and No. Either way it was definitely the pharmaceutical industry giving a lot of us a big F U (ICYMI: a TON of BC’s were discontinued in January with absolutely no notice.)

Instead of trying to get on a new pill and go through hormonal changes just to get off in the fall, I decided it was time to navigate life off of it. Mind you, I had been on the exact same one for longer than I care to share and even when I tried the generic version in the past it made me feel funny, so I was paying TOP $ for the brand name all these years just to stay the same “me” I’ve known my whole adult life.

 
Getting off Brith Control Diary

Getting off Brith Control Diary

 

This is a long one (and will only get longer), so grab a glass of wine and dive on in:

When I get off and started sharing my journey on IG stories, so many of you could relate to some of the changes I saw my body go through and asked me to share more. We’ve talked a little more about in the EDP Facebook Group where we’ve shared tips and stories about everyone’s unique experience. (Request to join if you’re interested!) And I’ve been keeping a diary of sorts for the last 4 months to give you some insight into what I’ve been going through.

The most amazing part is that EDP contributor Marissa also got off around the same exact time. Her and I have an ongoing text chain about our acne, hair loss, weight changes, etc. which has been all sorts of hilarious and sad at the same time- haha. It’s been nice to go through it with someone. She is sharing HER journey over on THIS POST. Obviously everyone is different, so I think it’s so nice to have these two POVs.

* * A quick reminder that neither of us are medical professionals. We are just sharing our personal journeys of getting off the pill in hopes that it may help you navigate the process or at the least know that you’re not alone in the craziness.**

Keep scrolling to read my journey, how I’m currently feeling, things I wish I would’ve done, plus some tips from the EDP fam.

January 9, 2019 - Bye Bye BC

Welp, guess we’re doing the damn thing. Called every pharmacy in LA and finally got a straight answer from someone that my BC is not on backorder but discontinued indefinitely.

All my gals pals suggested the FLOW app to track my cycle so I just downloaded it.

January 14, 2019 - Save the skin

One of my biggest concerns about getting off the pill is acne. I’ve battled acne since high school and I’m fairly certain that going on the pill significantly helped it. Tip: don’t go down the rabbit hole of google entries about post-bc skin issues. There are SO many horror stories and now I’m freaking out. Bacne and chest acne? Umm, no thank you.

Google did help me discover a supplement called DIM that is supposed to naturally help hormonal acne. Of the many articles I read, this one from a girl I actually went on a press trip with helped cement my purchase decision.

Fingers crossed. DIM, please don’t fail me. **Keep reading for more of my thoughts on DIM **

January 29, 2019 - Losing weight

I haven’t weighed myself but I can tell that I’ve lost weight. It’s not just the boobs (which everyone says goes when you get off BC) it’s like this layer of blubber / water weight /something all around my body. It’s hard to explain but clothes aren’t fitting right and I don’t feel like myself.

For me, losing a few lbs. is a significant amount of my body weight and is honestly something I really would rather NOT happen. I spent much of my early 20s trying to fit in non-jr. sized clothes and have become so comfortable and confident in my body these last 5 -6 yrs. Of course, it’s hard to talk with friends or even share on social because I feel like I’ll get body shamed for complaining about losing weight since I’m already thin.

** At my annual appointment my gyno confirmed I’d lost 5 lbs. since the same time last year. She also said it was normal to see weight loss of 10 -15 lbs. when getting off BC **

February 7, 2019 - I’m late

According to the FLOW app I’m officially late but this is totally expected, right? My gyno said this is normal and I should only be concerned if I skip more than 2 periods.

But what if it’s the DIM ? Oh man, I mean, my skin has been pretty great but what if there’s something in it that’s messing with my estrogen and that’s why I’m late? Stopping ASAP.

Leaving to Colombia and won’t remember to take it daily anyway, so I’ll decide if I want to continue taking it when I get back.

** Got my period 2 days later! **

End of February - But why?!

Skin is FREAKING the EFF out. All sorts of hormonal chin stuff (the painful kind), even breakouts on hairline and places I’ve never really broken out before. Even more frustrating is that according to the flow app this is my ovulation week and I should be GLOWING, not having PMS related skin stuff. Starting back on DIM! Fingers crossed.

 
Diary of getting off birth control

Diary of getting off birth control

 

March - blessed but stressed

Aside from the physical side effects of the past few months, I haven’t really felt that different emotionally or mentally. So many friends said they experienced crazy mental clarity when they were pill free but also extreme moodiness/PMS compared to before.

Oh but wait, remember that day mid-month when I went to the post office and lost it? Like, literally balled my eyes out trying to get packages shipped because everything was frustrating me and the post office man was being stern with me about some stupid box I grabbed? Yup, that happened.

So maybe I am feeling some emotional effects from my hormones balancing out or maybe I am literally stressed AF from 3 months of non-stop travel, starting a new podcast, and barely seeing my husband.

On the bright side my skin is looking NIIICEEE after starting back on DIM last month.

April 4, 2019 - losing my hair

A few weeks ago I started noticing that my hair was looking different in pictures. At first I thought it was just cuz it’s been growing out and with a shorter lob a little grow-out can change the whole shape of everything. But no… it’s 100% because my hair is falling out, like, EVERYWHERE. Operation FREAK the EFF OUT is officially underway.

Marissa said she read somewhere that a side effect of DIM is hair loss so I’m stopping today. I complain to Andy and he says I’m being crazy but there are a few things that really confirm this is happening: I literally take photos and videos of myself EVERYDAY for my job! I can see when it started… back in February. Funny how in March we had to have our maintenance people come de-clog my drain after only a few months since the last time. ** my hairstylist also confirmed when I saw her last week**

I’m kicking myself because my gyno and my hairstylist told me back in January to start pre-natal vitamins ASAP. The gyno suggested more for the folic acid intake for future baby health but my hairstylist suggested it for hair, nails, etc. WHY DIDN’T I LISTEN?! And if you read up anywhere hair loss is a SUPER COMMON side effect of getting off the pill…. like V common. The shitty part is that it happens so slowly you don’t notice it until it’s too late. I shared this on IG stories and a lot of you provided some AMAZING suggestions to combat:

  • Viviscal

  • Food: Avocado, Salmon, Walnuts, Sunflower Seeds

  • Biotin smoothie + Biotin supplements

  • Vital Proteins Collagen Peptides

  • Prenatal Vitamins

  • Superfood like the Super Elixir from WelleCo

  • Primrose Oil

  • Thorne — Basic Nutrients - Pill taken 2x/day

  • iRestore Helmet

  • Oribe Power Drops (Hair serum) - just bought these to try!

  • Niacinamide tablets for acne + Zinc tablets for hair

  • The Hair Lust

  • Ouai hair products at Sephora: Ouai Thin + Shampoo/Conditioner

  • Nutrafol

  • Spironolactone

  • Navy Shampoo + Conditioner

  • Books: Woman Code + Beyond The Pill

Just sharing these in case anyone else is going through the same thing. I cannot vouch for any of them yet. I will say that I’ve read and experienced that biotin can make you break out, so I am not going the straight biotin route. Here’s what I am doing:

Got off DIM. Granted, I don’t think this was making my hair fall out but I’m tired of going on and off things. Also trying not to take 1 million different things daily. Started: Rainbow Light Prenatal Vitamin | HUM Glow Sweet Glow Skin Hydration Vitamins | Vital Proteins Collagen Peptides and praying the combination both helps my hair and keeps my skin breakout free.

The Be Well By Kelly smoothie I’ve been making in the AM with Vital Proteins Collagen Peptides:

  • Almond Milk

  • 1 Banana

  • 2 handfuls of Spinach

  • Tablespoon of Chia Seeds

  • Tablespoon of Almond Butter

  • Scoop of Vital Proteins of Collagen Peptides

 
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4 month reflection

The one thing I wish I would’ve done differently the past four months is CHILL. I was so reactive to every change and symptom. The reality is, there are so many variables. My skin issues could’ve been hormone related or the fact that I was on and off a plane every other week for 3 months straight. While I think my hair loss is definitely connected to getting of the pill a part of me also feels like it was exacerbated by the insane amount of stress I was feeling towards the end of Feb/through March. There’s always something, so it’s hard to isolate one thing and say THIS is the cause. If anything, I wish I would’ve had more of a plan.

My goal is to stick with my new vitamin/supplement regimen for at least 3 months to see if I'm seeing success. I will say that my skin has been pretty amazing the last 3 weeks, even through the worst part of my cycle, so that’s a great start. I’ve also been home and trying to take time for myself the past 3 weeks… so you know… variables!

I’m learning to love my new body. Missing my boobs but abs are looking toned AF - hah! Unlike others, my sex drive has definitely not changed. And I’m still not experiencing increased mental clarity but maybe I was already clear? I’m going with the latter!

If you’re going through something similar, I’m sending you positive post BC vibes. We’ll figure it out.

xx- Ash

P.S: Def don’t forget to read Marissa’s Post BC Diary - so insightful to have two POVs.

 

More life convos…